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Layers of love stories
piles of precious velvet
lay thick and  heavy upon my heart.
I pull away each layer
 to dig out my soul,
 but I keep lingering on memories.
 They hum and whisper sweet songs that were made just for me.
  I get caught by a stitch or burn.
 Lose myself in remembering
our special patterns.
 I can hear the honeybees buzzing in my red delicious heart.
They remind me
I am queen.
So i continue digging
through soft, luxurious fabric
doing my best
not to linger here
or digress.
I'm on a mission
 I want to love
to be loved back
but I fear
adding another layer over my heart.
I don't want to bury her
She's a good and sturdy vessel.

Broken

This fantasy cowgirl
With lightning bug powers
Brought forth with fervent joy
All of her milky treasures
Exposed the secret places of her desires
She let herself be taken
Dropped her protective shell
Shared her cursive lines 
Gave it all away like a fool
See his face in puddles
bend down to kiss the street
A garbage heap in her  heart
She let him build
Can't help but wait and see
 should be working
Upon her beautiful soul to keep

Love born poison

Shoot, Use your gun of life
I'm not afraid to die 
In your arms 
Shoot,use your gun of life 
Keep on watching me 
Poison me 

Mesamesasu prince from the biomass 
Ai yoku no nami ni oyogu 
Kanaeyou hollow  na kiai 
Demo ima wa jikan ga nai 
Yokubo no sensor 
Kawasu ai no juice 
Doukasen ni hi wo tomosu 
Hashire hijoguchi e 
Reikyaku system on 
Todokazaru nanaban me no sora 

Who dares to wake me? 
Prince from the biomass 
Swimming in the waves of your intimacy 
I'm able to offer 
My love for centuries 
But I have no time right now 
Meet my desire sensors 
My atom juice of joy 
You want to use my affective circuits 
Run to the fire exit 
Use your cooling system 
You'll never reach the 7th sky today

March 26th 2012 Jupiter, Venus, waxing crescent

Venus, Jupiter and the waxing crescent moon aligned this evening just after dusk.  I went to the studio to paint and had to succumb to the evil cold that has been threatening to take my energy to live for months. I'm going to have to master a table saw and cut a straight line in order to get cracking on the art show.  I know I don't have much time before the art space will be bustling with activity. The sun was out in all it's radiant glory for a few hours today. I am going to drag my baby pool right up to the dock doors and lay in it every weekend for the whole summer if I can manage it.  I can't wait for the weather to change. It's colder in Ballard compared to Capitol Hill.  I HATE living in Ballard, but I do love seeing the stars and swinging in the park at night with out the worry of being mugged.  I have been living in my new place for almost five months now. Alex is a huge part of how I have survived the sad break up with Jeff.  I am very grateful to have such a loving and intelligent being be my son.  I've had so much more alone time since the move.  I realized yesterday that I haven't really had the chance to be a young woman on her own ever.  I had my son at twenty one.  I'm still young, but not so young that I will be dangerous or stupid.  I feel I'll always be wild, daring and free to some extent.  I love my life and am enjoying growing into this version of myself that I dreamed I'd maybe be one day.  I was locked in a perpetual state of insecurity and fear of abandonment for so many years.  Now I see that.  I didn't before.  The same question still plagues my soul....
How to make love stay?

Christie

Deep in my threads
In the currents beneath my shell
Light struggles to escape
Their patterns Bright and wild

You already know and love 
My favorite spring flowers
Those that shamelessly drop their petals early
And set the green moss a blaze
With crimson velvet flames
Like me 
they open for you

Lovesick blues

I'm falling apart waiting for the phone to ring
For you to tell me "It's gonna be okay baby"
I cried the skin off my cheeks today
I spent my hour lunch break bawling like a baby
Sick at the thought of your disapproval 
My hearts a tangled mess
as I think of how much I love you
How I adore you
How could I have ever let you down?
I feel like a thousand twisting snakes are circling my soul
Squeezing myself into a knot of worry
I know I'm just gonna cry myself to sleep tonight
Waiting

Daddy's Girl

waits like  daddy's little girl...
Like a good girl should
Waiting for the flood
Like a flower 
Thirsty for the showers 
There's nothing colder than sleeping without you by my side 
Always wondered
Now it's real
This cowgirl howls
 a prairie song
 From her Texas heart
To yours
It was you the whole time
I never even saw this coming 
Love that's built to last
Good soil
To plant our seeds in
We can't be stopped
You've lit these fires in me
I love you forever